‘If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this that disturbs you, but your own judgement of it, and it is in your power to wipe out this judgement now.’ ~ Marcus Aurelius
How often do you allow one single event, to ruin a series of beautiful events?
This is not a question of the event itself ruining the other events. It is a matter of interpretations. We get caught in them all the time. If we take events like they are, if we abstain from evaluating them or thinking of them in terms of good and bad, if we just think of them as existing, it is clear that events aren’t good or bad. They simply are. However, after we start interpreting them we often evaluate them, which inevitably leads to us judging them.
This means the interpretation of events is an important leverage point for how you respond to those events and how well you handle them.
You have often had the experience while talking with friends, that they have provided you with a new interpretation of events – a new interpretation which either made you sad or glad, which either put a stumbling block in front of your feet or made you more efficient in handling them.
One event several meanings
Let me give you an example. I was with a couple of people and one woman was a bit down. A well intended man asked her what the problem was and she went: ‘Relationship!’ He enquired what about the relationship was problematic, and her reply was brief and to the point: ‘No relationship!’ Now, in an effort to be helpful he started to explain about a friend of his who had become single and during this painful period used it for reflection and came out stronger on the other end. The lady didn’t react very well to this story; she was cringing and looked as if she was in pain.
For some reason I had an intuition about what to say and I said: ‘No relationship is good …’ She looked questioningly at me and I continued: ‘ … It simply means: No one to get rid of, when you find Mr. Right.’ And at this she smiled, her eyes widened, she got plenty of color in her cheeks and sat much taller.
In this case it was just a slight change in the interpretation – according to the first interpretation the state of being single was an invitation to a painful journey of self discovery. (I never understood why it had to be painful!) and according to the other interpretation being single
was just a necessary prerequisite to finding a right partner.
With this in mind, may we invite you to start making a very clear distinction between descriptions and interpretations, start noting the effects different interpretations have and start providing your friends and yourself with more fruitful interpretations.
And if you succeed you might end up as wise as Marcus Aurelius, which is not a bad thing. He did pretty well for himself, you know, considering he was just a Roman emperor.
Wishing you a wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,
Your imperial trainers :-),
Thomas and Lidija
Upcoming NLP trainings in Brussels and USA
We would like to invite you to join our Internationally accredited NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner trainings in Brussels and USA. For more information, please contact us at email@example.com
Lidija Markovic Rosati – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach, Hypnotherapist and Psychological Counsellor.
Thomas Björge – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach and Designer of New Code Game ‘Arrows’, to be featured in Dr. John Grinder’s upcoming book.
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