‘Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.’ ~ Buddha
Does it ever happen to you that you find yourself in an environment that is conducive to stress?
Please note what happens when you read the following sentences, which could very well be headlines from common mainstream media or some of the brochures that you see flying around in hospitals, medical centres, health clinics, etc: ‘Combat stress!’ ‘Fight stress!” ‘Learn how to control your stress!’
There’s something inherently wrong with the above sentences … As all of them have got ‘the wrong’ wording in them, that sends the wrong signal to your Unconscious. How can you combat, fight, beat, defeat, control something and expect a better result? Is it not a common knowledge, that the more we fight something the more it tends to come back and haunt us?
Stress is a response
There is also another cringe worthy concept. That of ‘stressors’! ‘Stressors’ are defined as part of the environment which cause stress in the human organism. This is like the doctor in Moliére‘s play ‘The Imaginary Invalid’, explaining how opium made people sleepy by containing a dormitive principle. In other words, this is nonsense! To say that the environment CAUSES something in the human organism, rather than to understand that the human organism RESPONDS to it is to apply the logic of dead physical systems in the world of the living.
So how about we change the way we talk and think about stress? How about we focus on here and now?! As being here and now will ultimately take care of the stressful situations, as opposed to fighting or combating them, where our focus is directed to preparation for a ‘fight’ :-).
How will being here and now take care of the stress, you may ask? Simple. When you direct your attention to the present moment, to what is going on around you, you’ll relinquish the need to react, and will choose to respond, by being aware of all the resources you have available. As you see, with a cool head, with calm mind, you will learn to respond and not react. Animals react, people respond.
When you start loosing your cool, and start getting in a flap, you’ll instantly find yourself at the effect, and will stop being at cause. And we know that once we are at the effect of things, we stop responding intelligently.
Ask smart questions
So when you find yourself in a ‘stressful’ situation, look around you, and inside of you, and within a moment, you’ll have diverted your focus and attention to you and what you can do to make the situation better. You’ll start getting into a ‘HOW’ mode, rather than a ‘WHY’ mode….WHY creates a victim and takes you away from yourself, HOW leads you to a solution, and to your inner resources…
Sometimes a stressful environment is part of a vicious circle, and you are the other part. The fact that you choose to respond with stress creates an environment that is even more conducive to stress. For example, it is common to attempt to flee or fight stressful situations. This is not necessarily the best long-term solution. Consider what it would be like if you were to be Joe Cool, acting with the utmost coolness in those situations. When you start to enjoy them, what will be the effects of that?
With this in mind, may we invite you to start routinely finishing stressful situations by cleaning up your nervous system. On a piece of paper, write down everything that is currently occupying your mind, and leave that piece of paper at your desk; then you can forget about it until you return to look at it.
Secondly, take some time to relax. Consciously. Tighten and relax your muscles. Breathe slowly and deeply. Taking in a peaceful environment. Look at a candlelight, the sky, the moon, the stars. (If you need to burn off some adrenaline, take a brisk walk first).
Thirdly, while you enjoy the rest of your time, take some time to give yourself permission to just be. As none of the above will make any sense, if you don’t give yourself permission to be!
And remember the anecdote about the westerner who asked a tai chi master how to use tai chi for dealing with a stressful work environment. The master laughed and said: ‘No, no, no – you don’t use it to deal with a stressful environment – you use it to get away from it!’
As always we send you oceans of love and wish you a peaceful and stress free week,
Yours cool as a cucumber trainers,
Lidija and Thomas
Upcoming NLP trainings in Brussels and USA
We would like to invite you to join our Internationally accredited NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner trainings in Brussels and USA. For more information, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Lidija Markovic Rosati – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach, Hypnotherapist and Psychological Counsellor.
Thomas Björge – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach and Designer of New Code Game ‘Arrows’, to be featured in Dr. John Grinder’s upcoming book.
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