Weekly Food for Thought – Alternative Dialogue

Dear Friends,

‘A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet’. ~Truman Capote

This week the thought that occupied my mind was communication. More specifically, multiple levels of communication.

The beauty of communication lies in the fact that it consists of many levels, and in our everyday communication with others we use those levels.

Variety of our communication depends on our level of curiosity, knowledge, inspiration, mood we are in, our circumstances, environment, etc. What is important though is that we must work on developing different ways to communicate with one another, as this will contribute to the quality of our communication with others.

In this context, I would like to focus on a specific kind of communication, the one I choose to call

‘Alternative Dialogue’

You are probably guessing what I am about to say;-).

We all communicate differently, sometimes we listen intently, other times we interrupt the conversation, and there are times when we wait until it’s our turn to speak…In all these scenarios, very often there isn’t a real meaningful interaction between what is being said and what is being listened to or heard.

To put it simply, while one person is talking, the other one is not really listening to the content, but is eager to fill a nanosecond gap, and is working over time to think up of a suitable, or not, content with which it would fill that nanosecond gap, and in doing so, they are not attentively listening to the other person.

In this meaningless vacuum of words, there is often a different non-verbal position of a listener, depending on whether he (the listener) is a disinterested (careless) or too eager (careful).

In almost every conversation, a disinterested (careless) person, is not really interested in listening, and in a rather dominant fashion accentuates their story and its importance, while, an eager (careful) person does the opposite.

A careful person, in almost every conversation plays down the importance of their story. It is important to note that both careless and a careful person are engaging in an alternative dialogue, without any desire for a meaningful conversation.

I’ve found that a good dialogue tells you not only what people are saying or how they are communicating, but it tells you a great deal about the quality of the character.

So, instead of being careless and careful in a conversation, it is a lot more valuable to care.

Because to care means to be present, committed and attentive, and this will create a collagen thread between listening and talking.

With this in mind, in every conversation, strive for commitment, as it is the only way to ensure a meaningful and delightful communication.

I wish you a wonderful week and send you an ocean of love,
Lidija

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Lidija Markovic Rosati – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach, Hypnotherapist and Psychological Counsellor.

Thomas Björge – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach and Designer of New Code Game ‘Arrows’, to be featured in Dr. John Grinder’s upcoming book.

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