Popcorn for the Soul – Why Thinking Positive isn’t Enough
How many times you found yourself struggling with a life challenge, a problem, and those close to you came and in a chirrupy voice said – ‘Just forget about the problem and think positive!’ ?
Their intention is very likely well meaning at heart, but deep inside you probably felt that it’s not that easy, and that there are probably other layers that need to be uncovered in order for that ‘just think positive’ to work!
If you are anything like the majority of the population, you probably thought that the advice is hogwash and new age nonsense. And rightly so!
The notion that what you think, you attract was and is to some extent with some people, still popular. Because people are trained to believe that great results and changes can happen with very little work or effort from their side! WRONG! If you want great and outstanding results you need to roll up your sleeves.
Also, people usually go for OK results, for something that will not shake their reality/comfort zone too much, and yet, they ‘talk’ about huge plans and goals!
Simple and easy
Take for example a simple positive thinking affirmation – ‘Today is a good day and everything is going my way’! It sounds pretty innocent and sweet, yet, if you know about personal development, how the human brain works, if you have dived deeply into your own inner world and worked with yourself, you will know that this cute little sentence is a controlling, tense and full of rage dragon, ready to lash out the moment something untoward happens, something that we are not prepared to deal with.
The essence not the superficial
You see, in order for this sentence to work, a lot of layers need to have been taken out, a lot of programming need to have taken place, and a transformation from the heart, from the depths of our being had to happen. Not a change. Change is a simple process, and it doesn’t necessarily tackle the deeper issues, it doesn’t always deal with the cause, with the root of the problem.
Furthermore, once you’ve done a great deep inner work you will not need to wake up every morning with a list of positive affirmations in order to be able to face the day!
Once the layers are out, you are you. You know that life has its ups and downs, and that some situations require your full presence, rather than running away into the world of fake, forced and controlled ‘positivity’.
So, if you want to create a meaningful life, a life in which you will have the lead role, a life where you will flow through like a water, with great behavioural flexibility, embrace TRANSFORMATION, go deep, as that’s where the gold is.
No affirmations, no control, no reminders to ‘say this or that’, just pure presence and you.
Actively create the life that you want
And another thing…Thinking positive, blabbering positive affirmations daily does little in getting you to take action. It keeps you where you are, while giving you an illusion that you are doing something, where in actual fact, the only thing you are doing, is uttering words that don’t match your feelings.
When words match your feelings, magic happens. Shift happens. Transformation happens!
To help illustrate why positive thinking alone isn’t enough, here are some reasons why it fails to deliver results:
In order to create outstanding results, you need to take positive action. Action that will get you closer to your goal. Physical action. This is where just thinking, visualizing, your goal isn’t enough.
If you believe that affirmations alone will get you the desired results, there is actually no reason to do anything to make them happen.
What positive action are you willing to take in order to make your goal happen. Imagine the difference between thinking about going to the gym and actually going to the gym :-)!
For a continuing process of any kind, you need to continuously monitor your actions. Are your actions taking you towards your goal, or way from it?
Some schools of positive thinking require you to focus only on the possibility of success. To banish any thoughts of possible failure from your mind. Thus sending your mind into some ineffective la la land. The truth is obvious and you have experienced it many times. Sometimes it is exactly the thought of the possibility of failure that saves the day. The moment you realize that you may actually fail your exam is the moment when you start studying.
When you notice that your actions are taking you towards your goal, you’ll be more encouraged to move ahead! Either way, if you see you are steering away from your goal, you’ll congratulate yourself on your sensory acuity and your ability to observe and see what you can do differently.
Both of these actions are empowering, and motivating!
You need to take responsibility for your life and actions, and hold yourself accountable.
Are you going to sit and think positively, or are you going to do something, to create something of value, to stand behind it 100%? Taking 100% responsibility for our goals and dreams will create positive outlook and perspective on how to achieve our goals in life!
So, before disappearing into a fluffy world of positive thinking, take stock of your life, look at your weaknesses and strengths, look at the resources you have available, and start taking action! Action will take you and will help you create a world will of positivity! Thinking alone won’t!
Lidija Marković Rosati – International NLP Trainer, Master Coach and Hypnotherapist
Thomas Björge – International NLP Trainer, Master Coach and Hypnotherapist
Upcoming NLP training in Brussels
In Brussels during July 2015 we will deliver both an Accelerated International NLP Practitioner and a Master Practitioner.
For more information send us an e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org