The other day I was speaking with a friend, and we were reminiscing about our transition – we were both bankers, who became NLP enthusiasts, and ended up turning NLP into our passion and profession – And we couldn’t help it but throw a loud belly laughter … Those were the days when we did things just because it felt right …
We didn’t do it because we had a plan or a goal. Not because NLP was hip, in, trendy, or because we wanted to get humongously rich quickly, but because we truly enjoyed the process of learning it, the experiences we had, the insights, who we were becoming in the process. It was interesting for both of us to notice the lack of notion of time…No rush, no counting, no calculations….
Time is something that I am often asked about during our trainings…How quickly will I gain mastery, how soon will I be able to teach this, how soon will I be able to work with clients, etc…
Don’t get me wrong, these are all legitimate questions, but wouldn’t you agree that they, in a way, take out from your experience, get you into the head, and out of the heart, deprive you of pure enjoyment and take you away from you, from your core?
Your focus determines your reality
You see, when you are focused on the end result, and the end result only, without monitoring what is going within you as you are learning something new, gaining insights, you risk having superficial notion of that which you are learning…You don’t allow yourself time to integrate the learnings fully, to apply them to yourself, to make them your own. For me, learning NLP, Coaching, Hypnosis, Mindfulness, Yoga, have been and still are experiences that I immerse myself in fully, and attempt to notice changes within me, as I dive deeper into the experience …
Most of the time this is enjoyable and pleasant, but not always. Sometimes, when we go deep into the process, we may feel something that we’ve been avoiding, something that we haven’t seen before, something that was always there, yet not allowed to come to the surface. And it is precisely at this moment, when emotions, feelings, come to the surface, come to the resolution, that we grow, we evolve, we expand…
This is when time is irrelevant, when speed makes no sense, when experience, pure, raw experience is all that matters, the experience of me in the now, in this moment, there is no rush, just pure careless and carefree abandon to what is.
In this process, when I become one with the experience, I have learnt that the experience becomes something that shapes me, that adds to who I am, gives flavour to my character, makes me who I am. I have found it, time and again to be very cleansing, very liberating, very healing, very light…
And isn’t life about feeling, breathing, being light? Isn’t it one of the most exhilarating states, the state of lightness, no baggage, no planning, no schemes… Just me. Just light. Just now.
Experience your emotions
With this in mind, I’d like to invite you to experience this beautiful process that has many levels, but its main intention is to prime you for life and to keep you present. So that, when you find yourself going through experience, you don’t rush it, you don’t run away from it, but take all the time that is needed to experience is, make it your own, learn from it and let your Soul grow from it.
Find a quiet comfortable place, either sit or lie down, paying special attention that your body is supported and relaxed. Take a few deep breaths and bring yourself to the present moment.
Choose a situation that is either repeating itself, or that brings a certain class of emotions with it, a certain level of pain that you’d like to work with.
Notice what happens in your body when you think about that situation. You may even notice that you experience more than one emotion, stay open and be with those emotions as they come up, if you like, you may want to give them a name, making sure that you do it with absolute kindness and compassion. No judgment. Just acceptance and welcoming.
Now, choose one emotion you’d like to work with, and direct your awareness and attention to your body. Where in your body do you experience that emotion? If it is in more than one place, choose the one that is the strongest. And spend some time with it. What colour is it, does it have a texture, is it soft or hard, warm or cold. Very often trapped emotions in our body are surrounded with tension. See if you could relax the area around that emotion, by softly breathing into it.
As you are softly breathing into it, notice what happens when you send it love, soothing gentle love. Whatever love means to you…Remember, this is YOUR experience. You may want to put your hand to that place where you are experiencing the emotion, to get the sense of soothing the pain, softening the tension.
If you feel like, you may want to start talking to that emotion. Remember, your intention is not to make this feeling go away, you are welcoming it, like you would welcome a guest. And just like with any guest, you know it will not stay forever. Embrace it, be curious about it, learn from it, and most importantly, try to let go of your desire for this feeling to go away. You will instantly start feeling lighter.
Allow your body to guide you
The key to this exercise is to allow whatever needs to come up to come up. Let everything be as it will be, let it happen as it will happen. Knowing that the more you push and resist, the more it will come to haunt you. Just allow, and watch the magic unfold.
You will notice that your mind will start playing to its old tune. Just thank it and be aware of what it is trying to do, and very softly bring your attention to the emotion.
This exercise is extremely beneficial. It is a tiny bit difficult too, as many people are just not in the habit of dealing with emotions or difficult situations using healthy methods. Most people run away from emotions, run to food, sex, drugs, social media. Anything that can give them a quick fix and that can mask the emotion.
Enjoy the process and let us know how you get on.
Sending you oceans of love,
Lidija and Thomas
Upcoming NLP training in Brussels
P.S. We have the pleasure to inform you, that enrolment is now open for the International NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner trainings in Brussels this summer. For more information please feel free to send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
Lidija Marković Rosati – International NLP Trainer, Master Coach, Psychological Counsellor and Hypnotherapist
Thomas Björge – International NLP Trainer, Master Coach and Hypnotherapist