“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”
– Helen Keller
Love, romantic or otherwise, is stuff that miracles are made of. We have all experienced it! Right?! Consider for a moment the experience of one very special woman: Helen Keller.
When Helen was about a year and a half old, she fell ill and became deaf and blind. Imagine for a moment a life without sounds, without light. Her experience – anger and bitterness.
All this was to change when a new nurse, Anne Mansfield Sullivan, entered Helen’s life. In her autobiography Helen Keller described her first meeting with her, how she reached out her hand and how “Someone took it, and I was caught up and held close in the arms of her who had come to reveal all things to me, and, more than all things else, to love me.”
Notice the words she choose to describe her teacher, Anne, who helped her transform from an almost animal way of being, into a cultivated human being, she described her as the woman “who had come to reveal all things to me, and, more than all things else, to love me.”
Love makes us human
In some ways Helen Keller’s story is of course everyone’s story. No one can become a person, a human being, without love and guidance from other humans.
Now, there is also romantic love and marriage. You already know that the common depictions of love in literature and romantic comedies are not like the real thing.
“And then they lived happily ever after” requires a certain amount of skill. Relationships are a bit like sex really. A bit of both giving and receiving are necessary ingredients to make it good. Fantasies about unconditional love – that you somehow will get all the love you deserve without having to do anything – has destroyed countless relationships. As has the failure to give unconditional love – to always wait for the other party to make you feel loving – a bit like sitting in front of a fireplace waiting for it to be warm, without bothering to light the fire.
Real relationships require real skill. And the skills most of us have available as we enter young adulthood are those we inherited (oh horror!) from our parents.
Don’t get us wrong. Love is wonderful and Amor Omnia Vincit – love really does conquer all. Love is the strongest force in the Universe. Cultivating a loving mindset will help you achieve miracles.
Love takes skill
But it is also helpful to learn the skills to handle a relationship successfully. To have the intention and ability to understand your partner. To be able to both listen and talk. To include long term consequences in one’s decision making.
To remember that the courtship process doesn’t stop after any particular event – but is rather to be continued during the rest of your lives.
To remember that we all go through many roles during our lives; that your partner and yourself will both evolve and become different persons during a lifetime spent together with the same partner your several selves will have a relationship with several different versions of your partner.
And of course, above all, to cultivate and allow LOVE to flourish.
Since love is the strongest force in the Universe it would be very strange if it did not sometimes go astray. Most people have had an encounter with the dark side of Aphrodite. Sometimes people get infatuated with or addicted to the wrong person – and sometimes that other person is really wrong.
With this in mind may we invite you to spend some time pondering, not what your relationship can do for you, but what you can do for your relationship. And to search within yourself, to find the fountain of love and allow it to flow.
Sending you oceans of love – conditionally 🙂
Your lovely NLP trainers,
Lidija & Thomas
Upcoming NLP trainings in Brussels and USA
We would like to invite you to join our Internationally accredited NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner trainings in Brussels and USA. For more information, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Lidija Markovic Rosati – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach, Hypnotherapist and Psychological Counsellor.
Thomas Björge – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach and Designer of New Code Game ‘Arrows’, to be featured in Dr. John Grinder’s upcoming book.