Of Loss and Early Departures….

“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world…”

Dear Friends,

Have you ever lost someone? Really lost them?! Never to see them again…At least not in this dimension!

Well,  I have… last week. I lost my Dad. He decided to join the Angels. To look after me and cheer me on, but this time round, from above!

My Dad. My biggest fan! The only person in the Universe who understood my smile, my tears, my worries…My Dad who so gently taught me how to be, how to love, how to share!

And while I was writing him a farewell letter to put in his pocket, before he left us forever, I couldn’t help but remember all of the things I learnt from him, by simply observing him, and all the things he taught me!

These, my Friends, are things that twill forever live in me…My Dad’s spirit continues to exist and grow in me!

 

Endless gratitude

While going through this period of adjustment without him, I am grateful that he was my Dad. Grateful for all the things I learnt from him, for all the freedom I was given to explore and discover. Grateful for the sense of curiosity he instilled in me. Grateful for the go for it, do it, experience it attitude he nurtured!

I may have not been always aware of what I had or what kind of amazing unique Dad I had, but reminiscing about our joint adventures, talks, travels, I am reminded of how lucky and privileged I was to have him in my life.

The sense of loss is indescribable, and something I was not prepared for…I am way too young to lose my Dad!

Find a way

As I wrote in one of the blogs recently – there is no substitute for experience-, and I stand by it…However, there are certain experiences I’d rather do without, and this one, the death of my Dad, is one of those experiences. Sadly, it is also one of those inevitable experiences, that apparently we all must go through…

Daily visits to the hospital, watching my Dad disappearing slowly, quietly suffering, motionless, losing hope, fighting a lost battle, again, quietly, silently, with us, his close family, as the only observers and supporters…Cheering him on, than with the last morsel of hope gone, as in the movies when the gladiators are down, defeated, the noise form the public in the arena dies down slowly…And inevitably death creeps in unannounced…quiet, and grabs the person you love, cherish, idolize and takes them away from you…forever!

I am now left to find a way without my Dad, to remember his loving and gentle smile, to remember his wise words and move on.

With this in mind, my dear Friends, may I invite you to take a moment and spend some time with those you love, ask them how they are doing, tell them how much they mean to you, how much you love them, take snapshots of those moments, so that one day, when they are called to go elsewhere and leave this realm, you can continue with loving memories of them and moments you spent together!

Make sure that nothing is left in the world of the unspoken! Express your gratitude for having them in your lives!

I wish you a week filled with gratitude!

Lidija