“Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” – The Dude
Last week’s Popcorn for the Soul was about why our brains cause us so much distress, and why some of our most common approaches to dealing with this just doesn’t work. This week’s popcorn will be about some of the approaches which actually do work …
Don’t attempt to be a dictator of your mind!
Noone wants to live in North Korea. Yet sometimes we are tempted to go Kim Il Sung on our own minds! To censor all unwanted thoughts, to censor any news from the outside world that are not in line with the party policy. This is of course not a good strategy.
It is much better to organize yourself as a democracy, with a healthy constitution, a constitution which allows for freedom of expression. And when you disagree with yourself it is better to be like Ghandi. Never use violence, even if you disagree totally. The problem when you fight violently with yourself is that you may win. Peace is the only sustainable long term solution – you will spend a long time with you.
In short: Don’t suppress your thinking!
Practice a balanced and loving relationship with yourself.
So, you don’t suppress your thoughts and feelings. At the same time you do not want to be overwhelmed by them. You do not want them to take the driver’s seat in your life.
There is a golden middle path. To practice a mindful presence. To observe yourself, to observe your thoughts, but neither to be overwhelmed or possessed by them, nor to try to suppress or fight them.
Instead you find that space where you are calm, centered and balanced. The space where you can hold and accept the unwanted sides of yourself without being thrown off balance. Where you can meet yourself eye to eye without losing your center. This is where you go to invite your unwanted thoughts into the sphere of your awareness. To feel your way, to reflect and consider and think with yourself about intentions and consequences.
Think of it this way: how would Buddha act towards you? (Or someone else, someone you personally would consider a friend of the soul) How is it when you adopt that person’s attitude, and call forth your inner self?
How we act with ourselves is often how we act towards others. So don’t be too surprised if your relationships with others improve while you are practicing this mindful awareness of yourself.
Remember the Dude
Every so often people will attempt to impose their own view of reality on you. They will tell you that your hopes and dreams are impossible, that your attempts will fail, that there are things you must do. Whenever this happens, just remember that however well intentioned, and however certain of themselves these people are, all they are doing is expressing their own model of the world. When this happens, just remember the Dude (the main character in The Big Lebowski), and his brilliant comment: “Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”
It’s just your mind!
It is not just others, sometimes the culprit that wants to impose its model of the world on you is your own brain! Always make the distinction between the world and your mind. Like Mark Twain said: “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” So much of what causes distress is NOT out there in the world. It is your mind. It is your thoughts! Make the distinction and remember that just because you think something it isn’t necessarily real.
Come spend time with us
What is the value of giving yourself the gift of studying with us? Think of it this way: You already know a lot about what you want and need to change in order to live your life the way you want it. You have already read a lot of good advice and know plenty about what you want to do. BUT you find yourself not translating your knowledge into action. This is where what we teach comes in. Our all encompassing teaching that include using your whole body, your whole neurology enables you to transform the way you think, to change how you experience your daily life, to overcome internal obstacles.
We share with you the most effective technologies and processes for generating change.. It is based on observing and copying/modelling what works, rather than doing what should work according to some theory. And we are glad that it is not just in the hands of professional guilds of psychologists and psychiatrists, but rather the power is in the hands of people from all walks of life.
Come and have a real NLP experience. We have learned it from the founders so you will get the experience with one degree of separation :-).
One myth about NLP is that it is very intellectual, very celebral, all about the mind, nothing about the heart. Our response can only be: with whom? And: only if done very badly .. .we are sorry that some people have not had a good experience of it – as having the right kind of experiences, the ones engaging your entire body, your emotions, and all your senses can be very rewarding 😉
With this in mind may we invite you to spend some time during the week contemplating your own thoughts. Some time where you have enough energy to remain aware of your thoughts without being overwhelmed by them, and simply can start to invite yourself to a date with yourself. A meeting where you are willing to have the attitude of listening to and hearing your inner self, to be aware of the thoughts and thinking of your inner self, and even to feel the feelings of your inner self.
Sending you oceans of love and wishing you a superb week
Your NLP trainers
Lidija & Thomas
Upcoming NLP trainings in Brussels and USA
We would like to invite you to join our Internationally accredited NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner trainings in Brussels and USA. For more information, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S. If you are curious to get ahead of the crowd and stand out, and learn how to become the captain of your thoughts and emotions, and subsequently of your life, we still have a couple of places left for the NLP practitioner in 6 modules taking place in Belgrade. If you’d like to jump on the ship and take the rudder, you are more than welcome! For more info, go to http://momentum-strategies.com/sr/srpski-jedinstveni-nlp-trening-u-6-modula/ or send us an email at email@example.com or call us at 064 38 55 255.
Lidija Markovic Rosati – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach, Hypnotherapist and Psychological Counsellor.
Thomas Björge – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach and Designer of New Code Game ‘Arrows’, to be featured in Dr. John Grinder’s upcoming book.