As someone who is interested in personal development, NLP and NLP training we assume that you have at some time considered how tragic it is when a person who could have been destined for greatness missed out on it because of fear.
Because there are so many lives that are potentially great and partially lived because of fear. Yet the bars of fear that create the cage we live in are often based on illusion. Imagine for a moment how your life would be different if you were absolutely fearless. What are the dreams, the longings, the desires which you would dare to fulfill?
“He who has overcome his fears will truly be free” – Aristotle
Don’t misunderstand us. Fear can be your friend and ally, it can even save your life. We are not asking you to go out and expose yourself to danger. There is a difference between smart fear and stupid fear. What we are asking you to do is to simply imagine a life without the borders placed on it by fear. A life where your courage has given you absolute choice about when to listen to your fear – and when to act in spite of it.
Fear is a learned limitation
Consider for a while the many fears placing limits on people’s lives. The fear of failure – now, realistically it is impossible not to fail if you are going to attempt to do new stuff, so if you let the fear of failure rule your life you will be stuck doing what you already do. The fear of success – if there ever was a limiting fear this is it – the person being ruled by this fear will do all the hard work and all the preparations until the very last moment, where they will spoil their efforts in order to avoid success. Fear of what other people will think and say – basically people who let this fear rule their lives are giving up their freedom and handing over the power to decide how they should live to someone else.
What it basically boils down to is that fear is a learned response – and we humans are capable of learning both very smart things and very stupid things. Fear is something we learn about in many ways – and some of these learnings we can be grateful for, they are part of our basic survival training, like when a parent teaches his kid that the road with cars can be a dangerous place.
Fear is transmissive
Sometimes however what gets transmitted is more random, like when a kid picks up a fear of spiders by witnessing a parent going hysterical when finding one in the bathtub. Or the fear learned is just a basic means of controlling people, i.e. the schoolyard bully likes being able to scare the other kids.
And sometimes we find that fear has been transmitted in more surprising ways: a person has inherited a fear from an ancestor, a fear reflecting some long past event that he has never heard or known about. Some people think of these ancestral fears as energetically transmitted, others as transmitted through nonverbal communication.
Within NLP there are several tools for dealing with all sorts of fears, from mild anxieties to full blown phobias. To describe those goes outside the scope of this text and they are best learnt in an NLP-training environment. But there are some things you can do on your own.
Sometimes fear has hidden itself. A person has an automated series of thoughts and actions, which flash by very rapidly with the purpose of avoiding a fearful situation – yet it happens so quickly that the person doesn’t even recognize that he is doing what he is doing because of fear.
And it may be covered by some rationalization. While in reality you are simply scared by doing one thing you just pretend that you don’t like, or that you avoid doing out of courtesy. Now, if you muster up the courage to see fear for what it really is you may find that it sometimes is just like the trolls of yore who exploded when hit by the rays of the sun, and that it ceases to hold any power over you the moment you realize it is fear.
With this in mind may we invite you to spend some time exploring fear and thinking about a life beyond it. Allow yourself to become aware of the fears you feel. Explore their origins – from whom did you get them? And start asking yourself the question which fears can you safely just let go of. Which ones are really yours and which ones carry the ancestral burden, something that has nothing to do with you, nor with your authentic self, something that was ‘planted’ in you through generations. Once you make these distinctions, it will be a lot easier to work with you authentic fears and let go of them, one by one!
We wish you a wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,
Your fearless trainers,
Lidija and Thomas
Upcoming NLP trainings in Brussels and USA
We would like to invite you to join our Internationally accredited NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner trainings in Brussels and USA. For more information, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Lidija Markovic Rosati – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach, Hypnotherapist and Psychological Counsellor.
Thomas Björge – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach and Designer of New Code Game ‘Arrows’, to be featured in Dr. John Grinder’s upcoming book.
© Momentum Strategies 2013